I suppose I should discuss offshore sportsbook picks, but c’mon, it’s the offseason. Let’s riff a little, have some fun at retired NHLers’ expense.

I’m betting, unless you’re a real dieheard hockey fan of 20-plus years, that you haven’t heard of Chris Nilan. Well, he was one of the more prolific goons of the late 1980s and early 1990s, playing with Montreal and Boston.

Apparently he was just arrested for trying to steal a bathing suit, which he was wearing under his clothes at a retail outlet. He apparently took a swing at a security guard and wrestled with cops on the ground before proclaiming he “just wanted to save a few bucks.”

I can’t begin to process the sadness of this scenario. Former tough guy, beaten down and forced to steal a bathing suit and rumble with cops? I feel bad even writing about it after he made so many hockey games worth the price per head in his career.

Thanks for at least defying any sports predictions I could’ve made this summer, Chris.

Hmpf. And I thought Nadal’s French Open odds upset was a surprise. Then came Montreal’s hiring of Jacques Martin. Was I alone in being floored by it?

Your team is coming off a turbulent season and you’re about to lose half your team to free agency, so you…hire a guy who has losing deep in his blood? Martin, the guy who guided countless Sens contenders who fell flatter than the World according to Columbus? The guy who accomplished zilch in Florida?

Hmph.

Am I just not thinking this through? One thing Martin has done reasonably well is turn last-place teams around. Well, he at least did that with the Sens in the mid 1990s. Maybe this is Montreal’s way of implying that they’re going to let a bunch of guys walk and rebuild?  Martin does teach a strong defensive game, too. And he pulled it off with goalies like Patrick Lalime, Ron Tugnutt and Damian Rhodes. So maybe he’ll help Carey Price get back on track in NHL betting.

Either way, I’m officially predicting to NHL betting fans that the Toronto Maple Leafs will finish above the Montreal Canadiens in the standings next year. I’ll put money down on it now. Bad betting management by me, or am I onto something? The draft will tell us more…

If Tiger pulls ahead in the Masters odds on Sunday, he won’t look back. As for the Habs, they sure looked safe a week ago but they’re practically breaking their necks looking over their shoulders now.

They currently sit seventh in the East at 92 points, three points up on the Rangers and Panthers. They travel to Madison Square Garden for a crucial battle with the Rangers tonight.

Looking at the online betting roller coaster that has been their 2009 season, I can’t decide whether everything is their fault or not. Was there too much pressure from the centennial season? Alex Tanguay has missed most of NHL betting. Now, it looks as though the Habs — if they make it — will open the playoffs without Andrei Markov and Mathieu Schneider.

Still, if I had to guess what the main cause of the Habs’ struggles has been this year, I would pick “off-ice distraction.” From the Kostitsyns’ mob connections (not to mention the feud with Mikhail Grabovski) to the teams’ alleged excessive partying to Alex Kovalev being sent home, something has been seriously wrong with that dressing room all year. How else can you explain what’s happened given that the Habs retained almost everyone from their first-place 2007-08 team?

Would you still pick the Habs at the sportsbook to make the Big Dance right now? Tonight will be crucial.

Apparently, March Madness odds don’t always have to mean basketball. They can just mean crazy stuff happening all over the online sports betting universe, and hockey is no exception.

Who could’ve predicted at the offshore sportsbook that Martin Brodeur would have a chance to tie Patrick Roy’s all-time career wins record in Montreal? That’s what’s going down this Saturday in the Devils vs Canadiens line. Pretty awesome. Well, it would be pretty awesome if Brodeur was actually one win behind Roy.

They must put something funny in the water in Montreal. First, the franchise is calling 2008-2009 its “centennial season” even though it’s the 99th, probably because it stands to lose so many free agents this summer and wanted to win the Stanley Cup odds in its magical “100th” season. Now, we have Brodeur supposedly tying Pat Roy’s wins record under phony conditions.

Why does no one acknowledge the shootout era when discussing wins records in NHL betting? It’s garbage. Patrick Roy never played in the shootout era and thus had far fewer chances to win. Some online betting fans will claim that “Martin Brodeur earned all those wins by stoning people in shootouts,” but to say that is to completely miss the point. Yes, every Brodeur shootout win is impressive compared to the records of other goalies who played during the shootout era. But Patrick Roy never even got the chance to earn extra wins in the shootout. Instead, games ended in ties after 65 minutes. Who knows how many more he could’ve won had he played in shootouts?

In my mind, Roy is still the record holder until we confirm that Brodeur passes him in non-shootout wins. That day will come too, but it won’t be as soon as most NHL betting fans think.

Canada’s horrible fate in the WBC odds probably has you pretty bummed if you’re Canadian. So why not turn your attention to the Centennial Montreal Canadiens? Yay! Oh yeah, I forgot — this season has been a trainwreck for them. The NHL betting headlines just never stop with the Habs, do they?

The latest news to blitz Montreal’s online betting fans: GM Bob Gainey fired Guy Carbonneau yesterday and will take over behind the bench as the Habs try to stay alive in the Stanley Cup betting playoff hunt. Interesting considering the two were always compared to each other during their highly successful careers as checking centers.

Should NHL betting fans take notice? Abso-freakin’-lutely. Anyone who likes to bet on NHL probably knows that coaching changes almost always pay immediate dividends, even if the results are temporary (read: Clouston, Cory). Look at what Dan Bylsma is doing in Pittsburgh! It doesn’t always matter whether the guy is a genius or a stooge; the NHL betting scene gets a shakeup because players seem to view new coaches as breaths of fresh air.

Don’t be surprised if the Habs make a nice little late-season push, especially since Carbonneau reportedly had trouble communicating with his players. Gainey should’n't have that problem. In fact, now could be a solid time to place an NHL futures bet on Montreal, while their value is still strong. They still have the talent to bounce back. Remember that at the sportsbook.

Sleep with one eye open, Carey Price…

On a night during which much of the sports world was focused on NBA betting, something important happened in the hockey betting universe.

Habs backup goalie Jaroslav Halak shut out the hottest team in the NHL, the Vancouver Canucks, in what was easily Montreal’s most spirited effort in at least a month. The Habs had serious jump, the Bell Centre was rockin’ and it all started with Halak, who made multiple breakaway saves.

What does it all mean at the sportsbook? Well, given Carey Price’s recent struggles, Guy Carbonneau seems to be giving Halak a full shot at the starting job. He handed the reins over the Price in a snap move a year ago, so would he hesitate to do the same with Halak? It doesn’t seem that way. Halak is slated to keep starting until he loses; so far, that’s two wins in a row for him.

The situation will be much easier to understand a week from now. At the start of the season, the Habs were expected to showcase Halak in hopes of trading him before the deadline, so it’s entirely possible that they’re simply trying to give buyers a good look at him before March 4. Keep an eye on the situation if you bet on hockey, as it could signicantly affect Montreal’s online betting prospects, not to mention Stanley Cup odds, going forward.

Alex Kovalev. AK27. the ultimate enigma. Yeah, a lot of people hate him…some probably want to toss him into the UFC betting octagon and see Brock Lesnar pound his face in. Before you write him off as a total douche, though, watch this:

Wow. How can an online sports betting fan not gain some respect for him after that? He’s a phenomenal talent. In fact, some say he is the most naturally gifted player on the planet but only plays when he wants to.

Regardless of what NHL betting fans think of him, Kovalev’s days in Montreal appear to be numbered. He’s an unrestricted free agent this summer, he has publicly called out the Habs’ youngsters for being irresponsible in their night lives and appears to want out. Would you bet at the sportsbook on him re-signing? I didn’t think so. Even though Les Canadiens are in playoff contention, is it better for them to cash AK27 in while they can? Bob Gainey and the Habs face the same dilemma as Jacques Martin and the Panthers do with Jay Bouwmeester.

My thinking: deal him. Yeah, you lose a fan favorite and what could be a valuable playoff contributor, but Kovalev only plays well every second year anyway and this is one of his “off” years. Pittsburgh makes so much sense as a destination that it hurts. The Pens could keep Evgeni Malkin with Petr Sykora, then pair Kovalev with Sidney Crosby, who desperately needs a winger who knows out to hit the black rubber thingy into the mesh. Kovalev played well in Pittsburgh before, so he could adjust quickly.

Two other teams for NHL betting fans to watch: Edmonton and Los Angeles. The Oilers are openly pursuing Kovalev while the Kings, who reportedy are chasing Gaborik, could try for Kovalev if they don’t get their man.