I suppose I should discuss offshore sportsbook picks, but c’mon, it’s the offseason. Let’s riff a little, have some fun at retired NHLers’ expense.

I’m betting, unless you’re a real dieheard hockey fan of 20-plus years, that you haven’t heard of Chris Nilan. Well, he was one of the more prolific goons of the late 1980s and early 1990s, playing with Montreal and Boston.

Apparently he was just arrested for trying to steal a bathing suit, which he was wearing under his clothes at a retail outlet. He apparently took a swing at a security guard and wrestled with cops on the ground before proclaiming he “just wanted to save a few bucks.”

I can’t begin to process the sadness of this scenario. Former tough guy, beaten down and forced to steal a bathing suit and rumble with cops? I feel bad even writing about it after he made so many hockey games worth the price per head in his career.

Thanks for at least defying any sports predictions I could’ve made this summer, Chris.