What the eff, Penguins? Stanley Cup betting suddenly just got a lot less interesting. Everyone in the NHL betting hype machine was declaring the series a classic when, out of nowhere, the Pens lay a massive, rotten egg. Detroit scored first, the fans got involved, and the Pens just lost their cool.

Crosby and Malkin, taking dumb penalties? Letting their emotions get the better of them? Wasn’t this supposed to be the team that matured after last season? Wasn’t now supposed to be “their time” in NHL betting?

I still have faith that the Pens can rally in Stanley Cup betting. After all, they’re going back to comfy Mellon Arena. But if they really want to win this damn thing, they have to grow up and show some mental toughness in Detroit. You’re never gonna win one if you can’t keep your emotions in check on the road, fellas.

I’m like a parent, repeating myself. So I’ll stop now and just say GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Don’t give up on the Pens in online wagering quite yet. They have to have learned something from last year, right?

Just when you make French Open Finals betting your priority, the NHL fights back and gives us a great Stanley Cup series after all.

Much of last night’s exciting Penguins win seemed to be about legs. Is it just me, or was the Penguins’ youth very visible on the ice? It’s not that the Wings are totally ancient, but they definitely have a few guys who have been around the block a few times. The younger Pens are hitting them hard, skating circles around them, and that’s really shifted the NHL betting landscape. Suddenly, sportsbook bettors are piling on the Pens bandwagon.

A big reason why? Poor Henrik Zetterberg is dragging his feet. He hobbled around the ice, finally giving Sidney Crosby room to breathe, and the results were ugly for the Wings. We can’t blame Henrik — he’s playing his heart out — but he can’t do everything on his own. Marian Hossa has to step up, as do Johan Franzen and Tomas Holmstrom. We still don’t know if Pavel Datsyuk will come back in this series, so that means Zetterberg still has the task of shadowing Crosby.

Luckily for the Wings, there’s lots of time between games after Game 5. But the Red Wings’ Stanley Cup betting chances for the next game, even at home, don’t look so great. Sid and Geno are firing on all cylinders, so it may be smart betting management to stick with the Pens tomorrow night.

Am I great Belmont betting horse race jockey? Am I any more of a great hockey player? No. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give my boy Sid the Kid advice.

You know what? The Sid hating is really tiresome. Yes, he has the off-ice personality of unleavened bread, but he’s dynamic, creative player on the ice and, for all his whining, he’s not afraid to get physical at all. So forgive me for trying to help the “crybaby.”

Sid — I know you’re not a natural goal scorer, but you certainly can still score. You had 14 goals in the first three rounds of the NHL betting playoffs, for cryin’ out loud. What was the key? Well, let’s take a look at this SICK highlight video showing his goals vs Ovechkin’s in the second round of Stanley Cup betting. He’s like a tennis player in the French Open Finals odds — getting rid of the puck/ball as soon as it’s on his stick/racquet.

Goal 1 - One quick move into the center, laser wrist shot.

Goal 2 - rebound on the doorstep, immediately jams it in. Dwight Howard would be proud in NBA Finals betting.

Goal 3 - rebound on the doorstep, quickly tucks it in

Goal 4 - has about five whacks, wastes no time, takes about 4,508 shots in two seconds and finally puts it home

I could go on, but you get the picture. It’s all about the RELEASE — Crosby was wasting no time when he had the puck. Against Chris Osgood, he’s trying to do too much right now, dancing, stickhandling, giving Osgood time to cut down the angle on him.

SHOOT, Sid! Keep it simple, like you’re a thoroughbred chasing a carrot in the Belmont Stakes odds. It’s the key to your team’s online wagering hopes.

So much for knowing anything about NHL betting. Thanks, Chris. Thanks, Marc-Andre.

There I was on Friday, discussing Pittsburgh’s goaltending advantage, and both Osgood and Fleury make me look like an idiot.

The Red Wings appeared ready to start up a new Stanley Cup Final odds dynasty in Games 1 and 2. Brilliant gameplan — they fired shots at Fleury from every possible angle, with as many bodies in front of him as possible, never giving him clean looks. Now they’re in his head and he looks shaky. Osgood, on the other hand, not only saw everything shot at him, he was rock solid in stopping it. Was I wrong about the Penguins odds having a chance because of “better goaltending”?

Well, only time will tell. I think the Pens will bounce back in Game 3. But Fleury has to be better — and so do the defenseman protecting him, who are getting beat to the outside repeatedly. If not, Pittsburgh’s chances to come back are the same as mine if I was jockeying in the Belmont Stakes odds.

Some NHL betting fans are tired of hearing that Chris Osgood is underrated. Others are tired of hearing that’s he’s overrated.

Well, when it comes to assessing the Stanley Cup Final odds, I’m sick of both sides! Why? Because it doesn’t matter. Pittsburgh has the goaltending edge no matter what anyone thinks. The Osgood haters will tell you he rides coattails, that he gives up soft goals, that he was garbage in the regular season (and he was — 3.09 GAA, .887 save percentage). The lovers will tell you he was good outside Detroit (Had a season with 30-plus wins and a .910 save percentage in Long Island and Detroit).

But neither opinion matters, as Marc-Andre Fleury is still better. He’s matched Osgood’s great playoff stats, he’s younger, he’s more athletic, he likes pressure and, perhaps most importantly, he’s good enough to steal a game. No matter how much you may like Osgood in NHL betting, he doesn’t steal games. Fleury can — and maybe he will against Detroit, just like he stole Game 5 of last year’s Stanley Cup Final odds. He’s a big reason why I think the Pens will win this series…

Sacrilege! Worse than a Belmont Stakes odds jockey saying “Triple Crown” to jinx his horse!

Yes, after the Penguins advanced to the Stanley Cup Final odds last night, Sidney Crosby did the unthinkable and TOUCHED THE WALES TROPHY. If you’re a hockey betting fan, you know it’s supposedly a curse to do so.  But is there really much evidence to back it up? Scott Stevens broke the rule in 2003, handing the trophy around to his whole team, and the Devils’ NHL odds didn’t suffer, as they went on to win the Cup.

Mario Lemieux touched the trophy in the years when the Penguins last won the Cup and, as Sid the Kid pointed out in a post-game interview, the Pens didn’t touch the trophy last year and they didn’t win the cup. Good on the Pens for mixing things up. As good as the Red Wings are (oh, and, uh, the Blackhawks if they win, haha), it’s looking more and more like Pittsburgh’s year at online sports book.